When online dating sites first began, were they populated entirely by perverts, sexual predators, weirdos, social misfits and emotional wrecks? Absolutely, but that is no longer true. Online dating has gone mainstream and has lost all the social stigma it once suffered. Single people of all ages, races, religions and both sexes do it. People of all shapes and sizes do it. People from every developed country in the world do it. Even amazing intelligent women like you.
People join online dating sites for a variety of purposes, but mostly they join for three specific reasons:
(1) Time: How much of valuable time have you lost trying to meet a decent guy? How often have you worked 8 hours, gone home and spent another hour getting ready to go out then gone to the local hang-out for singles only to see the same old jerks, losers and drunks that are always there?
In that same length of time, you can go through hundreds of online profiles and look at hundreds of pictures and the screening is already done for you. You can tell right away if a guy is only looking for casual relationships or long term commitments. Just a note, there are free dating sites out there but I would not recommend them. They do not have the extensive screening process to weed out unsavory types that the well-known and respected sites offer. That alone is worth a paid membership.
(2) Money: For the same price of one evening out on the town, you can enjoy an entire month of meeting men from the safety and comfort of your own home….do it in your jammies or sweats, no time even needed to be spent on hair or makeup.
(3) It works: If you are willing to do the right things, it really does work. Write a profile that grabs attention, post recent pictures of yourself, be fun and interesting while chatting with the men you meet on line. Answer emails promptly and be on time for pre-arranged online meetings.
Online Dating Do’s For Women
OK… you have joined an online dating service or two. Now you need to write that all-important profile… the one that will attract attention and reel in the man of your dreams… but where to start? Maybe writing isn’t even something you think you do all that well. Still, you can do this.
The first thing is to be absolutely honest about yourself. You are looking for that man who will like…maybe someday love…you….the real you! Examine past relationships and list the things that you liked and the things you did not like. If he smoked in the house and you hated it, you won’t like it any better the next time. If you love cats and will always want to own one or more, say that you are an animal lover and want indoor pets. Someone who hates cats or is allergic to them is not the guy for you.
Highlight the things that make you unique. If you play the piano well, you really want Mr. Right to appreciate it. If you run in marathons, a couch potato is not a good match. If you love art, you really don’t want a man who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor.
Describe the things that are vitally important in your life. If volunteering is the one thing that makes you feel useful and worthwhile, you want someone who would, at the very least, support you if not join you in your volunteer projects. When you get beyond superficial things, you will attract men who share your values.
Your profile picture is so important. Some online dating sites even provide you with a list of photographers in your area that specialize in online dating site photos. That picture is the first thing men see. The second thing is that they read what you have written about yourself.
The Don’ts of Online Dating
There are some things that women should never do while engaged in an online relationship with a man. These things are certain to put a quick and final end to any further communications with him.
While chatting online or by email, keep it short and sweet until he asks for details…then provide them slowly and only answer the questions he asks. Do not write your life story. His eyes will glaze over and he will fall out of his chair. For example: If he asks how many siblings you have, he is not asking for the details of your relationships with them. He really just wants to know how many you have. Just reply that you have 2 (or whatever is true) and then ask how many he has. For every question he asks you, you should ask one of him. Nothing puts a man off like a long- winded woman who just doesn’t know when to shut up or how to listen.
Don’t be too eager. It makes you look desperate and that really turns men off. They are first and foremost conquerors and if getting the woman they desire to like them too is not at all challenging, they will quickly lose interest. I don’t mean play “hard-to-get”. I mean, don’t push for a face-to-face meeting. Don’t email them or IM them too frequently. Play it safe and play it cool.
Most importantly, never, ever, EVER lie. I really believe that lies will catch up with you sooner or later. Many women (and men) lie about their age, marital status, employment, height, weight and a host of other things in their online profiles. That is a huge mistake. If you find a man who you are really interested in, he will find out you lied and there goes any possibility of the relationship progressing. So, just be honest. There is someone out there who will like you…even come to love you…for exactly the person you are.