Three years ago, when Kara and Jason first met, she believed they were perfectly suited for each other. They shared the same dark humor and also loved the exact same television shows and movies. They both wanted kids in the next 5 years.
They even had the same favorite childhood book – The Velveteen Rabbit – a cute coincidence he frequently mentioned when friends asked about how they met.
So when he unexpectedly ended things one wet October day, she felt completely blindsided.
“I just don’t comprehend what changed how he felt ,” she explained “He once told me that he’d made a checklist when he was a boy of the important things he desired in a girlfriend, and that I was everything he ever dreamed of. Not only that, just a couple of weeks ago he was talking about taking vocal classes so he could serenade me at our wedding.”
Sadly, Kara’s experience is all too common. Dating and relationship expert Clayton Max told us it’s not unusual at all for a man to suddenly pull away from a woman, even if they seem to be a perfect match .
“Something that many women do not realize,” Max said “is it doesn’t really matter how well suited she is for a man ‘theoretically ‘. She might tick all the boxes on his list, and he’s still prone to have moments of panic when it comes to moving the relationship forward.”
Because, regardless of taking pride in how logical and sensible they are, Max claims , “Males don’t choose a woman based on who’s the best logical option for them. Rather, they select the woman that makes them FEEL certain things.”
What ‘things’ do men need to feel?
Max says that guys are instinctively a lot more frightened of committing than women are , however their brains also are pre-wired with a mechanism that overrides this worry with the appropriate partner .
This mechanism is called The Infatuation Impulse , and when it’s triggered it literally closes down the part of his mind that feels worried. Suddenly his reactions of doubt disappear , he feels absolutely certain about the woman, and he’s prepared to move mountains to be with her.
When deciding between a person who makes logical sense for him or one who ‘s activated his primitive infatuation reaction , men will always pick the one that ‘s activated his infatuation impulse one hundred percent of the time .
So what are Max’s recommendations for someone that wants a man to commit deeply to her?
1. Take things the way they are
A major error that women make, is wishing guys were different than they are. But a man can no more control these emotions of uncertainty than a woman can control her thoughts of wanting to commit .
In reality , when he feels misunderstood for his indecision , it builds on the anxiousness and sense of guilt he secretly feels , making him more likely to hit the ‘eject’ switch sooner rather than later .
By acknowledging that this is simply how guys are wired, and not pressuring him, it offers space to focus on what DOES make him certain – triggering his infatuation reaction .
2. Do not try to “convince ” him
Many women fall into the trap of attempting to be a man’s ‘perfect girl’ , by showering him with all the ‘sweetheart ‘ traits , such as being a great listener, being loyal, attentive, generous, and passionate .
They’ll list out all the reasons they’re a good suit , or they’ll simply try to figure out what qualities he wants in a woman , so they can display them when he’s around.
Either way , they’re trying to appeal to his ‘logical brain ‘, which in this situation is not running the show .
Women tend to do this again and again , despite the fact that this approach virtually never works , leaving them disappointed , and upset when he ends up leaving her for somebody that has practically none of the personality traits he says he desires .
3. Focus on activating his infatuation impulse
The only surefire way of getting a guy to commit with his entire heart, so he’s absolutely certain a woman is the one for him, is to trigger his infatuation response .
A man ‘s infatuation response is activated by a few very specific qualities in a woman . Traits like intrigue , boundaries, and uncertainty, which stir a feeling of excitement and an urge to go after her .
Although the majority of women will try to show a man how committed she is to him hoping that this is going to make him feel secure to give her his heart, this generally just intensifies the pressure he feels on his shoulders , since at this stage, he’s more afraid of losing his freedom than losing her.
For more information about how to activate a man’s infatuation impulse , with exact scripts that do precisely that, watch this free video presentation.
In it, you’ll learn about the ’emotional tripwire’, which puts a man in infatuation mode, without him realizing why.
Watch it now while it’s still available.