“For the quirkyalone, there is no patience for dating just for the sake of not being alone. On a fine but by no means transcendent date we dream of going home to watch television. We would prefer to be alone with our own thoughts than with a less than perfect fit. We are almost constitutionally incapable of casual relationships.” ~ Sasha Cagen
In case you are not familiar with the term already, a ‘quirkyalone’ is a person who enjoys being single. Although not averse to the idea of a relationship, they would rather stay alone than date just for the sake of dating.
The concept originally began as a personality type. Among a diverse group of people who identified with it (married, single, divorced, or widowed) soon grew to become something more.
A new, articulated set of ideas on relationships expressed through vocabulary: quirkyalone, and quirkytogether (the quirkyalone way of being in a long term romantic relationship).
Quirkyalone is not anti-love. It is pro-love. It is not anti-dating. It is anti-compulsory dating. Although quirkyalones enjoy solitude, and sometimes even need and crave it, they are not loners. They typically have a strong network of friends and most place a high premium on friendship. Some have even been known to bring friends on dates!
They are part of a growing population in our society who live full and fun lives without feeling the need for a formal material relationship. In fact, many quirkyalones see no reason to date for the purpose of sex. Their approach to being with others has more to do with friendship without the need for a primary relationship. It’s their desire for independence, for any number of reasons, which precludes the necessity for a “significant other” in their lives.
It also spawned a holiday. International Quirkyalone Day (February 14, of course!) is a Do-It-Yourself celebration of romance, friendship, and independent spirit.
As the term’s use becomes more frequent in our culture, other terms such as “old maid”, “spinster,” and “confirmed bachelor” are facing extinction. However, even though this new all-inclusive term stands a good chance of catching on.
Whether it’s their need to invest themselves in a career or a mindset that simply cannot see themselves in a marital relationship, the message to the rest of us is that they should be both understood and accepted.
Does any of this concept strike a chord with you? Could you possibly have quirkyalone leanings? You can take the quiz below and discover where you fall on the quirkyalone scale.
ARE YOU A “QUIRKYALONE?”
Always wondered why you like to be by yourself and why the opposite gender just doesn’t interest you romantically anymore? Answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to the following questions to see how quirkyalone you are.
1) You have a talent for self-reflection.
2) You’re excited about a successful, interesting life with or without a mate.
3) You create and maintain chosen clusters of friends.
4) You see life as a big choose-your-own-adventure kind of thing.
5) You support the idea of dating but not necessarily for the purpose of sex.
6) You prefer solitude to a relationship where you have to restrain an essential part of yourself.
7) You have a general compulsion to leave a mark on culture or society, to express yourself either through art, business, literature, or even social activism.
8) You recognize the ways society dictates happiness, primarily through romantic love, and believe this approach to be a human failing.
9) You have had a taste or glimpse of a great relationship/encounter, which intensified your desire to be open to a similar experience again.
10) Your talent to deconstruct love songs is equal only to your vulnerability to them.
Answers:
0 to 3 “Yes” responses: Sorry, but you’re not a quirkyalone. You should sign up with an Internet dating service right now and dig out all the singles in your area.
4 to 6 “Yes” responses: You are a borderline quirkyalone. This means that you may still want to live with another almost quirkyalone and be a quirkyalone couple or might just want to sleep in your own room while your significant other sleeps in his/her own room.
7 to 10 “Yes” responses: You are definitely a quirkyalone. Instead of romancing another person, you will spend your life romancing life for all it’s worth. Along with a growing segment of a society who are committed to remaining single, you now can refer to everyone like yourself using one single word.
“Sasha Cagen.” AZQuotes.com. Wind and Fly LTD, 2020. 30 November 2020. https://www.azquotes.com/author/42744-Sasha_Cagen
